After New Moon
by evilhat
Summary: I just added four short new chapters. Hope you like 'em :D
1. Bella and Charlie

…I squared my shoulders and walked forward to meet my fate, with my destiny solidly at my side…

Charlie was mad. In fact, he was beyond mad. His face had turned from purple to blue during the time that it took Edward and me to get to the front door. I caught my breath.

"Remember to breathe, dad…"

That didn't please him, but his complexion did begin to de-blue. He gave Edward one nasty look and then grabbed my shirt by the collar and dragged me inside, putting his hand out to keep Edward outside. I cringed when he slammed the door in Edward's face, which was wearing an extremely supportive look, but I thought I detected a glimpse of some little amusement in his eyes. I took one moment to wonder, _does Edward think this is funny?_ before I turned to face my father. He was leaning against the wall with his head in his arm and trying to regain control of his breathing. I shrank back a few inches into the living room to give him some space.

Just when I thought that he maybe was not going to say anything, Charlie turned to me.

"Isabella." He said my full name sharply, and I felt a twinge of guilt when I heard a trace of concern in his voice.

"A motorcycle? Of all the cries for help, why _A MOTORCYCLE_?" I knew that Edward had to be listening to us, and wondered what his reaction would be to the term "cry for help" that my father had just used. Of course, what he knew and what Charlie could not know was that I had only risked my life so that I could hear Edward again.

That wasn't so wrong, was it?

I sighed and thought of how I could possibly respond to that question. Charlie was never a good lecturer, and a part of me knew that this discussion was going to rely on my input- much more painful than just listening to a lecture, like most kids would have to under the circumstances. But Charlie continued.

"Bella, you have no idea how glad I am that you're back to-- you're--" was he about to say _normal_? "--happy again. But honestly, Bella, I cannot take care of you if you're going to be riding around Forks on a _DEATHMOBILE_!" I nodded and decided not to provoke him by saying a word. My foot itched. I wondered how angry he would be if I just reached down to scratch it…

"…if I can't find some way of assuring your safety," Charlie was saying, "your mom is going to be very disappointed." He twisted his face into something unreadable and said, "I'll have to send you back, you know. I can't have you riding around on a motorcycle. I can't watch you twenty four-seven. I stay busy at that police station. Your mom would be much better suited to-- Bella? _Bells?_"

"Oops." I hadn't realized that I had been staring at him wide-eyed, mouth agape since he first mentioned sending me back.

I opened and closed my mouth a few times, and then finally managed to croak out, "don't send me back." _The Cullens will never move to such a sunny place! _Charlie looked anxious for a second but then seemed to judge me as alright, and continued speaking, softly now.

"I won't. Bells, I like having you here. I do. But please. _Please _do not go around jumping off cliffs and riding motorcycles." He looked into my eyes and I felt my head incline slightly in a nod. It's not like I wanted to risk my life any more, anyway. It was too precious now, too perfect. Now I had Edward back.

Charlie seemed to think that that was enough. He was obviously worn out and I judged it safe to walk cautiously to my room.

Of course, Edward was waiting for me. I breathed a sigh of relief when I finally was able to itch my foot. Edward saw the obvious pleasure I took in being able to itch again and seemed to think that this was riotously funny. I began to straighten up to glare at him, at the same time moving forward to punch his arm, not that it would hurt him of course, but tripped over the shoe I had just removed.

I felt Edwards arms around me in a second, my face feet from the floor. I pulled on Edwards arms to right myself and turned around to face him. I was so in love with him it almost killed me.

Literally. When Edward heard my heart stop his face twitched into a frown, and when it persisted he cursed and laid me out on my bed, trying to pump at my heart. I was barely conscious of what was going on, I was surrounded by beautiful thoughts of Edward. Suddenly I came back to myself and heard Edward saying my name over and over again. Were those tears on his face?

He must have heard my heart return to normal, because he looked up at me and flung his arms around me. I was just about to begin speaking when I was suddenly overcome again. I just had time to register an exasperated look on Edward's face before completely losing consciousness.


	2. Edward Saves Bella

The next thing I knew, I felt my neck burning. My eyes opened wide and I tried to scream. I was barely able to take in my surroundings: I was still in my room, and I saw a well muscled shoulder right before my eyes. I frantically tried to feel at my neck, as the pain scorched my chin and then my cheeks. I gasped to realize it was spreading. My hand touched something cold. Skin. Edward's cheek. Suddenly I realized what was going on, and through the blinding pain, all I could think was, _it's not worth the pain._ And I felt myself going lightheaded.

My hand stayed on Edward's cheek as his lips and teeth stayed on my neck. He couldn't stop drinking. I blacked out again, my love for Edward and my profound sadness at the realization that I wouldn't get to spend my life with him after he killed me mixing exceedingly painfully with the physical feeling of having my skin ripped apart bit by bit.


	3. Edward

I couldn't stop. Her blood was so sweet, and with every sip of it I felt amazing having it running through me. It was so invigorating to finally consume the blood that had tempted me for so long. It was as though the abstinence from drinking it made it that much more perfect when I finally was able to drink it.

I blinked through tears and tried to stop myself. I was able to stop drinking for a second, but then the craving for the rest of her blood became so strong that I had to keep drinking.

Through the heady delirium that resulted from Bella's sweet and perfect blood, I heard Charlie outside her door just in time. I pulled back from her neck and was torn between staying right where I was to continue draining Bella's blood, I could deal with Charlie after that, and bringing Bella with me into the woods to finish her there. But the door was opening and I was so disgusted with myself that I managed to slip out through the window before Charlie saw me, with a longing and terrible glance back at Bella.

As I ran from the house I heard his intake of breath and then the sound of three numbers being dialed on a phone. I came to my senses in the fresh air and realized what I had almost done, what I may have succeeded in doing. I stopped dead in my tracks.

I felt a surge of loathing for myself, of love for Bella, of horrible, heavy guilt rush over me like a stampede of something dark and unbearable. For a second I couldn't think. Then I listened. I listened to determine whether it was worth me going on living. But I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear Bella's breathing.

After a second of panic, I registered that I couldn't hear Charlie either. In fact, I didn't hear a heartbeat anywhere. I tried to run back into the house to make sure that everything was okay, but I couldn't run. I mean, I could run, but only slowly.

Suddenly everything was duller. I stood on the edge of the trees outside Bella's house and couldn't smell anything. I was startled out of my world that had suddenly gone silent by the abrupt sound of a bird chirping. I fell to the ground and heard the sound of a stick break under my knees, but not the much quieter reverberating sounds that normally echoed off of trees after things snapped in the woods. Everything was so dull. I couldn't hear the little noises that allowed me to hunt. I couldn't smell the wildlife that surrounded me. I listened for Charlie's thoughts to find out what was going on inside his house and got an earful of nothing. What had happened to my strong senses? And what would happen to my Bella?

I heard the sound of the ambulance headed for Bella's house and realized that I hadn't heard it coming from far off. I watched men rush into the house and held my breath until I saw them carry Bella out on a stretcher, encouraged only by the fact that she wasn't covered in a white sheet. So she wasn't dead.

But my senses were. I felt blind and helpless. And I knew that, if Bella had lost enough blood to kill her, I would be helpless indeed, regardless of whether or not my vampire enhancements everr returned.


	4. Vampire

I was paralyzed by the pain. I heard a beep. I barely managed to opened my eyes. I heard another beep. And another. I was in a hospital. _Does the beeping mean I'm alive?_ I wondered, at the same time that I thought that if I were dead I couldn't possibly be in as much pain as I was.

I saw the ceiling of my hospital room, but then my vision turned and I was looking at an intricate machine, and then I got a close-up of someone's arm, and then I saw my dad's face framed by a window. And then I was looking at the ceiling again. Why wasn't I staying still? Through the terrible pain that had just spread into my thighs I registered that something was touching my head. I heard myself let out a whimper.

In seconds Carlisle's face came into view. Through the pain coursing through my body I managed to feel calmer. Nothing bad could happen when Carlisle was watching me. And then my mind cleared. My throat felt like it was being jabbed at by thousands of burning pokers, but I managed to make a sound.

"Edward?" My voice barely made it through my lips, but I knew Carlisle could hear me. As his face began to look more grim, I noticed that he was holding my head in place. He said in a low voice, "We've sent Alice to look for him."

I tried to nod but was so consumed by pain that instead I lost my vision and all control over my body. I thought briefly, _I must have been writhing in pain, which is why my head was moving. _

I thought briefly and peculiarly that it was funny that I hadn't know myself that I had been moving, but then couldn't think of anything else as my mind was drawn to the fact that the pain was still spreading, and now I became acutely aware of the fact that Edward's venom had reached my knees. It was like my skin had been peeled off of them and my kneecap had been ripped out of place, and then somebody had hammered at the remains of my leg and thighs. And the feeling kept spreading and I felt the pain in my lower leg and wondered if I was screaming at the feeling of acid being poured over my legs. I felt fire everywhere and at times I almost wished that I could just die.

I thought of Edward.

The pain stopped. I opened my eyes.

I wasn't in the hospital, as I had thought I would still be when I woke up, but in the Cullen mansion. The first two faces I saw were Carlisle and Esme's. They were looking worriedly into my eyes and I realized that they both had they hands wrapped around my arms, restraining me.

"Hi." I said. My voice surprised me as it came out perfectly and smoothly. I didn't feel like I was in pain at all.

"Hi, Bella. How do you feel?" This was Carlisle. "I'm going to let go of your arms so that you can sit up, but… do so carefully." I wondered what he meant, but he let go and I sat up, making an effort to sit up slowly.

"Bella… I don't know how to tell you this but…"

And suddenly I remembered what the pain had been. And I realized why Carlisle and Esme were both acting so cautious, so… concerned.

"I'm a vampire…" I whispered it.

And then suddenly I felt it. And I smelled it. And I heard it. And I was. I was a vampire. I felt ravenous.


	5. Edward 2

I staggered into the woods and ran as fast as I could from Bella's house. I was torn apart inside and when I felt a pain in my chest I thought at first that I was reacting physically to my grief for Bella, but I wasn't.

I was having trouble running. I ran for about two miles and then couldn't go any farther. I was short on breath… _short on breath? I'm a vampire, I don't need to breathe!_ I collapsed into a heap of mourning confusion.

I realized that I was sitting in the sun that had just risen. My skin threw off sparkling and vibrant reflections of the brilliant light, and I thought to myself, _so I'm still a vampire…_ and then another realization hit me: _and in a few days… Bella might be one too_.

I cringed.

I cried for what felt like hours. I didn't know if Bella was okay. I didn't know if I had just damned her to an eternal life of sunlessness and unquenchable thirst. I eventually pulled myself up and stood. It was getting dark again now. Should I go home?

If I went home… who would be there? Would Bella be there? Would Carlisle? What would he say to me?

I ran another few miles into the forest just to clear my mind, but again had to stop when I was bent over and having trouble breathing.

Through the deepening darkness, I couldn't see a thing, and I knew for sure that something was definitely wrong.


	6. Bella Adjusts

Carlisle had brought me a deer to eat. I didn't want to hurt the poor thing. Its eyes were darting frantically back and forth and it was quivering with fear. Carlisle said that I would have to get used to seeing my food alive before I fed off of it, but I couldn't do it. I just tried to pet the deer and calm it.

After a day of sitting in a bed in the Cullens' house, I began to feel agitated. I had figured out early on that I had to be careful how I touched things. I could try to turn the TV on and snap the remote control in half. I tried to pet the deer who Carlisle said would stay in my room until I was hungry enough to feed off of it, and I ended up making its legs buckle underneath it.

I felt terrible. I didn't want to kill anything and I certainly didn't want to keep smashing up the Cullens' beautiful house. And I missed Edward. On my second day of consciousness after the excruciating pain of turning into a vampire, Alice came in and told me that she had found Edward.

Apparently I was in and out of consciousness for three days, changing into a vampire. On the second day, Carlise had told Charlie that I needed to stay with him, because I needed to be watched constantly, and he could offer that better at his own home than in the hospital. That was the day Alice had found Edward. She had been looking for him in the far reaches of the forests, but had eventually found him only about ten miles from my house.

She hesitated at this point in the story.

"Bella… Edward is…"

For the first time I grew concerned for Edward, as I realized that Alice would have said by now that he was just fine if he had been. Instead of wishing that he had chosen to stay with me rather than running away from me, as I had been, I began to just hope that he was okay.

"Alice." I looked her square in her beautiful face and continued, "Alice… please tell me. Is Edward okay?"

I only grew more frightened as Alice hesitated again and finally said, "Alice. You have to tell me what's wrong," I felt tears come to my eyes as I said, "you know you have to tell me. Please. Please tell me. Is Edward okay?"

I grew frantic. I grabbed Alice by the shoulders, and I thought I heard myself continue to plead with her. She flinched slightly and I let go hurriedly, embarrassed that I kept forgetting to keep my strength in check and feeling slightly nauseated by the idea of Edward possibly being hurt.

Alice looked at her feet and seemed to speak to them when she said, "Edward is… not exactly… he doesn't have some of his vampire senses any more."

I stared at her blankly.

"What?"


	7. Edward 3

By the time Alice found me, I was in pretty bad condition. I had been trying to beat up trees and run but I had just tired myself out and hurt myself. I had sat silently for an hour and listened as hard as I could, but hadn't been able to hear anything quieter than some nearby rustling leaves. I didn't smell the mouse before it scampered past me. But worst, it had been two days since I had bitten Bella, and I still could not keep from crying when I thought of the danger I had put her in, and what would happen if I had taken too much of her blood…

I was listening for people's thoughts when Alice found me. She seemed to come silently out of nowhere, and stood watching me for minutes as I listened for thoughts and heard nothing before I noticed she was there. She looked concerned and cautious, but I ran to her and she hugged me while I wept for Bella.

Through my tears I choked out, "Where is she?" and I fell to the floor, gasping with relief when Alice told me she was okay, but in a lot of pain, and had just been moved from the hospital to our home.

"Alice, I've damned her." I said.

"Edward…" she began, but then changed her mind. "Can you hear my thoughts right now?"

I looked at her, my tears startled into a brief lull.

"No." I whispered.

"I didn't think so." She replied. She explained to me that she had been trying to tell me that Bella was okay when she first walked up, and she had been worried when I didn't respond. She had quickly realized that I hadn't noticed her presence. I explained to her that I couldn't run. That I couldn't hear, or smell, or…

"I'm so sorry, Edward." She said quietly.

"Do you… have any idea what's wrong… with me?"

"No."

We stood in silence for a few moments, and I began to pace back and forth. Finally I told her that I wanted to see Bella.

"That's not a good idea. She's not… she's not in very good shape right now."

Worry started to boil in me and I think I may have let out a growl. I hated myself. I hated myself for what I had done to Bella. Alice must have sensed this because she quickly tried to comfort me.

"It's what she wanted, you know that." She said. I stared at her and had to turn away, because I knew that Bella didn't have the information to make that decision on her own. I should have talked about it more with her. I knew she would have changed her mind.

_But then what would I have done when Bella's heart stopped?_

I laid down on the ground and thought. Eventually Alice told me I had to go home, but I wouldn't leave. She sat down gracefully beside me and asked if I would at least stay in a hotel. She told me I had to get inside somewhere. I guess I agreed to this, because I recall her picking me up and taking me somewhere. But I was consumed by guilt and hatred for myself, and sat in a violently remorseful stupor for days.


End file.
